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A wedding of your dreams does not have to be in the popular wedding months. A winter wedding can be quite spectacular and there are significant financial advantages.

While the summer months remain the most popular time of the year to say "I Do", many couples are choosing to have a winter date for the "big event." According to the Society of American Florists, 13 percent of weddings take place in the winter, with 11 percent of those being Christmas weddings. Summer weddings account for 35 percent, spring weddings 29 percent, and autumn weddings 23 percent.

Décor that appeals to the senses is important when trying to pulling off a romantic winter wedding. "Choose colors of rich jewel tones such as purple, forest green, and navy. Sapphire blue, ice blue or powder blue, silver and white can be used if you want to steer clear of the traditional Christmas colors", suggests Lynette Gamble, senior coordinator of Affairs of Grandeur. The glow of candlelight will add warmth and ambiance to your ceremony and reception site.

Iridescent or frosted glass balls and pine cones can adorn your guests' tables. Snowflake ornaments and glittery ribbons may be placed on the food tables or hung from the ceiling. For a simple touch, only decorate with red and white Poinsettias. Since many locations will already be lavishly decorated, your décor budget will be minimal.

To keep floral costs to a minimum, use flowers that are already available during the winter months. Some flower choices are: poinsettias, roses, amaryllis, and lilies. Evergreens are popular choices for decorations while holly branches and other plants with red berries are ideal for use in floral arrangements.

A cozy cottage or bed and breakfast is an ideal location for your wintry wedding theme. Your guests may warm themselves in front of the fireplace while sipping hot chocolate or wassail during the cocktail hour. A view overlooking a partially frozen pond will add to the ambiance. Imagine your guests delight as they get a glimpse of a deer drinking from the pond just outside the reception room window or a family of rabbits scurrying over the freshly fallen snow.

To add a little creativity to your dinner menu, ask your bridal party to submit traditional family recipes for your caterer to make for the reception. If you don't want to serve the traditional Christmas fare, ask your caterer for alternatives and create a unique meal for your guests. As for favors, Gamble recommends candles of course. "Cinnamon Apple, Pumpkin Pie, and Vanilla are all pleasant scents that remind you of being a kid in your grandmothers' kitchen and they're nice this time of year", says Gamble. "Spiced teas, coffee mugs, snow globes and Christmas ornaments imprinted with the couples name and wedding date will also make great favors."

Want a memorable getaway? Give out mini bells and have them rung as the two of you make your way to a horse-drawn sleigh. Decorate the coach and harness with Christmas foliage and chiming bells and ride off into the evening.

Anyone who has ever been involved with planning a wedding knows of the turbulence and tears encountered before the couple can be united. And that is when it is the first time for both of the partners and relatively uncomplicated. Issues such as what kind of ceremony, how many people should be invited, and what to put on the wedding list, pale into insignificance when a wedding second time around is being arranged. Questions arise "Should my ex-in-laws be invited so as to see their granddaughter as a bridesmaid?" and "My step-father gave me away the first time - is it okay to ask him to do it again?"

There are even more serious and fraught issues to circumvent, and they usually involve children from a previous relationship. During my research for my books on family matters I heard from men and women who told me they had postponed getting married because of the minefield they could see waiting for them if they went ahead. And yet this was, at times, an unhappy decision, particularly if it was a "first" for one of the couple.

Perhaps it is as well to keep in mind that it is never possible to please all of the people all of the time. Because although we must give thought to the couple wishing to marry and to make a public declaration of their love and commitment to each other, there are others who must be considered as well. For children, a wedding can stir up painful memories about the first family and the break-up which followed. Some children harbour a secret hope that their parents will, against all the evidence, get back together again. The remarriage of a parent puts an end to this hope. If there has been the death of a parent, and the mourning process is incomplete, the news of a wedding may bring to the surface unresolved feelings and emotions.

The news of a forthcoming wedding should be discussed between all the adults. The co-operation of an ex-partner, if at all possible, is most important when deciding who will tell the children and when they will be told. To marry without a parent's approval is one thing, but to marry without acceptance by your children, of any age, can be very painful. If due consideration is given to the timing of the event, notice given, and feelings aired, then the ground it being properly set for the big event, and even more importantly for the future of the family. Children need to know whether they will be affected and what, if anything, will change for them. My research showed that children not included in at least part of the ceremony often find it more difficult to accept the stepparent.

One dilemma may be for a child who thinks her "other" parent may well feel left out and not want the child to take part in a second wedding ceremony. Will it be seen as a betrayal? Or acceptance of the new stepparent? Another reason why discussions between the original couple, from the beginning, are so important. These worries need to be considered.

Several parents told me they arranged for a favourite aunt or friend to "shadow" a son or daughter through the actual wedding day. Someone to keep a special eye on the child in case there were upsets of in case a child felt left out. And I did receive many happy stories of successful second weddings where children had merged without problems and the day had been a joyous occasion.

I heard of daughters as maids-of-honour who were also given a ring at the ceremony. Sons who were "best men" and others who "gave away" the bride.

When June and Gordon married they had six children, two each from a previous marriage and two from their union. They all grouped to light a unity candle together. These are June's words:

"My kids were happy because it was a new start for them. We'd had a sad period because my first husband died of cancer. My new husband's kids were very confused for a long time because they hadn't wanted their parents to divorce. Then twins of our own. The wedding ceremony was the beginning of a new start for us all. We felt a family at last."

A second wedding can add meaning to the phrase "family wedding". Pauline said that they all contributed to the planning and by including the children on their wedding day they still talk about it as 'our' wedding day.

Finally, spare a thought for the new groom or bride for whom this may be a first wedding. Jack solved his dilemma by having a ceremony on one day - "white dress, the lot" - for his bride and a family blessing the following day to include his children.

It all adds up to the same thing, the necessity of careful planning and preparation beforehand. Leave nothing to chance - take nothing for granted. A wedding is a landmark in any family and those adults and children who have been burned by the fallout of an earlier divorce or death of a parent will be particularly sensitive to the meaning of the occasion. With some planning, a lot of discussion, and a little bit of luck, it will be a day memories are made of.

Marriage is not a fading institution, in fact there are twenty per cent more marriages this month than a year ago (in England where I live). Marriages - and weddings - are alive and well, but nowadays four out of every ten weddings are second marriages for one or both partners. New patterns of wedding etiquette have emerged, and so have the number of sites on the Web.

There is more choice now about where to marry, and for many couples this means there is no longer the battle between a religious ceremony and a local civic one. Again, the Web is the place to turn to for a selection of places which are licensed to perform marriages. There are sites, too, which help you design your own ceremony, you can even have your speech written for you, and there are pages of wedding-friendly jokes to choose from.

A wedding is a family affair and always an emotional event. Even a couple who plan to keep the day simple and informal will find themselves caught up in the hopes and expectations of other people. If a couple are paying for their own wedding - very often the case with second weddings - they are perhaps free of parental decisions. But with second wedding there is a more difficult minefield to negotiate between several extra major players. If either one of the couple has parents who are divorced, and perhaps remarried, the complications are multiplied tenfold.

Also, ex-partners should be told about the forthcoming wedding well in advance, and if there are children of one or perhaps both the people who are getting married, then extra thought and planning must go into the day. It may be that the children are playing a reluctant part of the wedding plans, and as 'children of divorce' may have very mixed feelings indeed about a mother or father actually marrying someone new.

One divorced mother said to me, "My daughter was seven when her dad remarried", and about the wedding she had said, "Half of me wanted to go and half of me didn't". I think this showed how confusing her feelings were over the final commitment of her dad to the girl he was living with and whom she didn't like. Children may feel disloyal to one parent if they attend the wedding. Also, a wedding is a final blow to a child's secret wish that his or her parent's might somehow get back together again.

The time to have those heart-to-heart discussions about a new stepparent is well in advance of the wedding day. Children, of any age, will need to air their opinions and have their views heard and also, perhaps, need to be reassured about what, if any, changes will take place after the wedding.

Many parents are undecided about whether children should take part in the ceremony at all, but when I researched my books on family issues I spoke with a number of men and women who had experienced the second wedding of a parent, and it was the ones who were excluded from the celebration who felt most resentful.

One of them told me, Can you believe this? I thought I had a good relationship with both my parents after their divorce. Then one day I was sent a wedding photo of my dad with someone. I couldn't believe my eyes. I knew nothing about her at all. I have hardly seen them since.

Other dilemmas appear in quick succession. Do you invite your ex-parents-in-law so that they can see their granddaughters as bridesmaids? Well, do you want to? And would they really want to come? When death of a partner was the reason for a second wedding, it was often the time to put grief aside and for all the family to join in celebrating the new union. However, now that the most common cause is divorce, there may be bad feelings between family members and so this may not be a wise decision. Much will depend upon the feelings of the bride or groom.

Even if you have been living together for sometime - and statistics show that three-quarters of the couples now marrying have been sharing a home - a wedding is a fresh landmark. Plan well in advance, leave nothing to chance, and make this a day to remember.

For your bride or groom this may be a first wedding so it is important to keep this in mind. Make sure your new partner is in no doubt that you are fully involved in the planning of the wedding, and that you do not feel a second wedding means it is going to be second best. Gather people together on the day whom you love and who love you, and who wish you well in your future life together. Keep in mind, everyone loves a wedding and if you have given a lot of thought to the feelings of parents, children and most of all your bride or groom you will have a wonderful day to remember.

Five Tips To Help You Select The Best Reception Location

Being disc jockeys, we get the opportunity to evaluate many reception facilities while having little or no bias to "sell" one location over another. Most Brides and Grooms know where they will be holding the ceremony before they decide where to have the reception, so we have compiled five observations that can help you when selecting your venue.

Distance - If people have to drive a long way to get from the ceremony to the reception, some will get distracted or decide to do something else. Try to keep the reception within a 15 to 30 minute drive of your ceremony. If it is not possible to get a reception hall close to your ceremony, make a caravan. Have the Bride and Groom lead the parade, and people will follow you to your reception.

Time - Time is just like the distance issue. If your reception is several hours after the ceremony, people will get busy doing other things and not show up for the reception. Try to start the reception within an hour or two of the ceremony. If you don't want to start your wedding dance at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, have a Meet and Greet mixer before your reception. Serve some punch and get people to mingle. This will be one of the few times that both families will be together. Encourage family members to share stories about your childhoods.

Size - People like their personal space, and they have most likely spent an hour packed into a church for your ceremony. If you let them spread out, they will enjoy themselves more. Make sure your reception hall has plenty of room for your guests. The people renting the location might tell you it holds 200 people, but that doesn't necessarily mean it will hold 200 people comfortably! Make sure to visit the venue before booking.

Climate Control - Having a summer wedding? Is your reception hall air conditioned? If people sweat while just sitting, they won't dance. On the flip side, if they are cold they won't dance either (who wants to dance in a parka?). Also make sure you know who has control of the thermostat so the temperature can be adjusted if needed. Chances are your reception will be warm and stuffy while all the guest are there, but as they trickle out during the night the room will begin to cool down.

Smoking - This is a hot button issue, but if your reception hall is non-smoking, you can fully expect smoker's to leave your reception for 15-30 minutes every hour. If enough of them leave the reception area, you may find a large percentage of your guest just hanging out in the smoking area. This can be a big problem if you have many smokers in your wedding party. You don't have to allow smoking, but it is something you should consider, especially if anyone has any health problems like asthma or allergies that could be triggered by smoke. If you decide not to allow smoking in the reception area, how close is the nearest place for a smoker to go? Is it close enough that you will be able to get needed wedding party members during events like the bouquet toss or garter auction?

Facility coordinators will no doubt bring up several other factors for you to consider when you interview them for your booking, but these are often missed items, especially if they don't favor the potential venue. If you keep the overall picture in mind and work with your wedding planner or event coordinator on the decorating ideas, you will no doubt have an enjoyable and memorable wedding reception.

Bridal registry - what's it all about? Traditionally, there have been two reasons to set up a gift registry in the days leading up to your wedding. First, it allows you to select items you need in your new, married life. Secondly, gift registry is designed to make shopping easier for your wedding guests. These days the term "bridal" is a bit misleading. It's not just the bride who should be involved with this aspect of wedding planning. "Couples" registry might be more appropriate.

One of the biggest mistakes couples make when registering is heading into the store unprepared. Before you begin the process, talk with your fiance about your choices, preferences and individual needs. Do you plan to hold formal dinners often or is your lifestyle more casual? Is your kitchen already full of appliances or lacking the essentials? Does your taste run more to contemporary, country, or Swedish modern? Once you have decided on general preferences, then you're ready to start selecting specific items for your registry.

Include a wide range of merchandise. Registries are no longer just about linens and formal china. Couples today are getting married later and many already have the basic home and kitchen items. So instead, you might consider recreational items such as camping gear or workshop items such as power tools. Also choose items within a range of prices to fit any budget, that way all your guests can use the registry, not just rich Uncle Al.

Be realistic about your needs. If you can't imagine ever using a gigantic silver serving tray, don't register for it, as storage space is always a consideration. If your current food processor works fine, don't register for another one, just because it's on a kitchen checklist you saw in a magazine.

Go with list in hand and stick to it. Wandering aimlessly around the store until you see things you like, will be a long and frustrating proposition. Most bridal magazines have a list of popular items which you can revise to meet your own needs. Or ask the store(s) if they offer such a worksheet.

When should you register? As a general rule, it should be completed no less than five months ahead of your wedding day and even earlier if possible. It's a good idea to check back with the store(s) occasionally and again a month before the wedding to make sure your selections are still available and in stock.

When it comes to registry, getting the word out is probably your toughest challenge. Experts say it's a serious breach of etiquette to list your registry on your wedding invitations. For the most part, you must rely on word of mouth. As soon as you've registered, let close friends and family know. Two other options are placing a discreet link on your wedding website or putting a small notice in your wedding shower invitations.

When asked directly where you're registered, don't hesitate to give a straightforward answer. Some people feel a sense of guilt when a guest comments, "I won't be able to make your wedding, but where are you registered? "If someone does ask directly, it's likely they really do want to know the answer and give you a gift. You might answer in this fashion, "We're registered at Bloomingdale's and Home Depot, but please don't feel you have to get us something".

A very new trend in gift giving is the honeymoon registry. Items on a honeymoon registry include activities or extras the couple would like to do while on their honeymoon. Additionally, gifts are broken down into financially manageable portions. Guests can give airfare, room nights, candlelit dinners, excursions such as horseback riding on the beach, or ski lift tickets. A great snorkeling trip for example, can create honeymoon memories couples remember forever, a unique gift that keeps on giving.

Not all travel agencies handle honeymoon registry. Some might advertise the service, but offer little more than an opportunity for your friends and family to mail checks toward the trip. If you're considering this type of registry, find a service which provides more. Look for a company that specializes in honeymoon registry.

All gift givers want to feel they've purchased something meaningful. Receiving a list describing in detail what they've purchased, improves their gift giving experience. This may come in the form of a certificate. A travel agency with an 800 number is also helpful for out-of-town wedding guests.

Another new trend is on-line gift registry, which can be more convenient and quicker for computer-savvy folks.